Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
