I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't think brook has ever known best
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
