Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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