This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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