She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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