you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
