we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
wow bdsm is so cute
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