I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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