Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
