ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
