bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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