TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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