Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
