I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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