Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
