yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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