Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can you bring me the toilet please
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
