Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
