he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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