After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
