Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
