some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The power of my boobs compel you
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
