Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize