I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
