I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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