alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
