Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we're so committed to being not committed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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