I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
