Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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