the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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