I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
