he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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