I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
