Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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