Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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