He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
