You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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