This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
