I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
