Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
