oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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