I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize