If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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