What did we do last night that was yellow?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
