I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize