The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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