you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
