Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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