Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
