lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
