There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
