She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize