yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
