just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
