i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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