I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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