He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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