Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
