he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
