drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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