i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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