Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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