Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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