yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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