we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
